RUZIE.

Iedereen kan er denk ik wel over meepraten. Ik dus ook en ik heb er een pesthekel aan. Toch kom je er soms niet onderuit, dan heb je het, zomaar ineens. Vaak loopt het hoog op en gaan mensen in hun drift zover dat ze compleet doordraaien. Later als ze ‘afgekoeld’ zijn zeggen ze dan: ‘Sorry, ik bedoelde het niet zo,’ of zoiets.

Kleine kinderen maken ruzie om niks, tenminste dat vinden wij volwassenen. Toen mijn twee oudste kinderen nog jong waren hadden ze constant ruzie. Meestal over de kleinste en stomste dingen.  Het begon al vaak ’s morgens vroeg. ‘Ik moet plassen. Ja, ik ook, maar ik wil eerst, Nee, ik wil eerst, want ik moet héél erg..’ Dan werd moeders erbij gehaald om het grote probleem op te lossen. Ja, omdat het jongens waren loste ik het probleem op door te zeggen: ‘Ga maar samen, ieder aan een kant, plaats genoeg. Aan tafel ging het ook zo, het laatste plakje kaas opeten was al genoeg voor uren ruzie.

Spelletjes vals spelen, elkaar schoppen, aan de haren trekken en dat soort dingen. En moeders maar sussen, ik werd er knap moe van. Totdat het bedtijd was, dan waren ze lief, dikke vriendjes en braaf.

Maar goed, zo ging dat, later toen ze ouder werden veranderde dat en konden ze het heel goed samen vinden. Zeker als ik dan iets deed of zei wat ze stom vonden, wat zij  dan stom vonden.

 

Anders is het als man en vrouw ruzie hebben, Dat kan over van alles zijn, over geld, seks, het huishouden en de auto. Een kunst is het dan om het goed te maken en dat is vaak een probleem. Sommige mensen hebben daar moeite mee, ze zijn kwaad en blijven kwaad omdat ze stijfkoppig zijn. Er zijn ook mensen die hullen zich in stilzijgen, En dat is vreselijk. Niks zeggen, geen antwoord geven en je negeren.

‘Schat, ben je nog boos?’

‘Kunnen we erover praten?’

‘Sorry, ik bedoelde het niet zo!’

Geen reactie, niks, nada, geen stom woord. Totdat ze je iets willen of moeten mededelen. Vaak gaat dat met een briefje, dat leggen ze dan op de keukentafel.

Ben vanavond laat thuis, je hoeft niet op met te wachten.

Dat is het dan, als ze geen ruzie hebben staat er meestal een x onder, of Dikke kus xx.

Goed, dat is een vorm van ruzie, er zijn ook andere. Burenruzie bijvoorbeeld, dat kan heel ver gaan, heel ver. Ze maken er een sport van om elkaar te treiteren, want treiteren is erger dan pesten. Op tv zie je die mensen dan klagen, bij de Rijdende Rechter bijvoorbeeld. In mijn ogen gaat het nergens over. Een boom waarvan de takken te ver over de schutting hangen of zoiets. Als ik naar zo’n programma kijk denk ik weleens: Hebben die mensen niks anders te doen? Nee, dus kennelijk niet.

Zo zijn er nog veel meer ruzies. In de politiek doen ze niets ander, elkaar afzeiken in het openbaar en hopen dat ze daar zieltjes mee winnen!

Mensen die teveel gedronken hebben zoeken het vaak op omdat ze behoefte hebben iemand in elkaar te slaan.

Beter is het om geen ruzie te maken, praten helpt goed.

Hoewel, niet altijd, er zijn mensen die dan zolang blijven lullen dat je denkt Als je nu je kop niet dichthoud sla ik je op je bek.

Maar dat zeg je niet, je denkt het alleen maar. Daarom is het goed dat we niet hardop  kunnen denken, want dan hadden we alleen maar ruzie. Hoewel? Niet altijd, als een man een lekker wijf tegen komt en denkt: Ik zou jou zo een beurt willen geven! is en blijft het de vraag wat ze zou zeggen als hij dat hardop zou denken! Mogelijkheden genoeg, ook ruzie!

Of ik weleens ruzie maak of heb wil je nu natuurlijk weten? NEE, NOOIT!

Maar soms heb ik er wel zin in. En weet je waarom? Juist, om het goed te maken! De goedmaakseks heet dat! Die is stukken beter dan de gewone seks, zeggen mensen die daar ervaring in hebben!

 

Marian.

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