ANGST.

Ik denk dat iedereen erover mee kan praten.  Angst is iets anders dan bang zijn.

Kleine kinderen zijn dat, bang voor veel kleine dingen, in het donker slapen gaan vinden ze bijna allemaal vreselijk, mijn kinderen ook, toen ze nog heel klein waren. Dus zette ik een klein schemerlampje op hun kamer en maakte dat aan voordat ze gingen slapen, probleem opgelost.

Maar er waren ook andere dingen waar ze bang voor waren. Bang voor Zwarte Piet want die nam stoute kinderen mee naar Spanje en daar werd peperkoek van ze gemaakt.

De eerste schooldag vonden ze vreselijk, doodsbang waren ze omdat ze niet wisten wat er precies ging gebeuren,. Ik weet nog goed dat een van hen de eerste schooldag hartverscheurend snikte uit angst. Toen ik voor de zoveelste uitlegde dat hij erheen ging om te leren lezen en schrijven zei hij: ‘Maar dat ken ik niet.’ Tja, daar sta je dan als moeder uit te leggen dat hij dat gaat leren.’ Vol goede moed ging hij dus toch naar school.

Zo gaat dat, als kleine kinderen bang zijn probeer je ze te troosten en meestal helpt dat.

Bij volwassenen is dat anders. Veel mensen zijn vaak bang maar laten dat niet merken. Bang voor de tandarts bijvoorbeeld, of bang voor slechte berichten.

Angst is iets anders, dat is erger.

Als iemand iets gedaan heeft dat niemand mag weten heeft hij angst dat het uitlekt. Criminelen leven denk ik altijd in angst. Rustig gaan slapen zit er bij hen niet in.

Iemand die net een bank beroofd heeft slaapt ook niet goed. De angst zit erin. Net zoals mensen die vreemd gaan, ze hopen dat hun partner er niet achter komt.

Bang zijn is vaak onzekerheid. Als je een nieuwe baan hebt ben je bang, zeker in het begin. Je bent bang dat je het niet goed doet, dat is ook logisch. Maar na verloop van tijd zakt het, dan weet je hoe het moet en wat er van je verwacht wordt.

Er zijn mensen die nooit bang zijn. Prostituees bijvoorbeeld, die zijn niet bang, die zetten hun verstand op nul en doen wat de klant wilt.

Veel huisvrouwen  zijn dat ook niet, ook niet als ze teveel geld hebben uitgegeven en diep in de schuld zitten. Ze klagen bij hun man en hopen dat hij hen weer iets geeft, zodat ze weer even vooruit kunnen.

Examen doen is vreselijk, toch moet het. Je bent bang dat je het verknalt. Neem nu een rijexamen, veel mensen zijn zo bang dat ze al bij de eerste bocht een stomme fout maken. Dat is angst, pure angst. Ik kan er over meepraten!

Visite ontvangen is voor de een iets leuks, voor de ander een ramp. Pa geeft te kennen dat een belangrijk iemand komt eten. Hij deelt dat mede met de boodschap dat ma iets bijzonders op tafel moet zetten. En daar staat ma, het enige bijzondere dat ze goed kan klaarmaken is stamppot, maar dan houdt het op. Dus gaat ze in kookboeken snuffelen op zoek naar iets speciaals. Als het dan zover is en ze moet het op tafel zetten is ze doodsbang dat ze het verpruts heeft, of nog erger dat het aangebrand is. Dat kan ook!

Als je de eerste keer met iemand naar bed gaat kan je ook bang zijn. Mannen omdat  hij ‘hem’ niet omhoog krijgt. Vrouwen  dat hij ‘hem’ in het verkeerde gaatje stopt.

Er zijn ook mensen die bang zijn dat dat nooit zal gebeuren. Sommigen blijven dat hun hele leven lang. Bang dat ze nooit seks hebben.

Of ik weleens bang ben? Soms. Zoals laatst toen ik een hele knappe man voorbij zag lopen. Ik dacht aan vroeger en hoe het zou zijn als hij voor me op de knieën zou vallen. Maar… toen ik thuiskwam en in de spiegel keek wist ik dat ik daar niet bang voor hoefde te zijn! Dat gebeurt niet! Nooit niet!

 

Marian.

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439 antwoorden op “ANGST.”

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  143. When I originally left a comment I seem to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on every time a comment is added I receive 4 emails with the same comment. Perhaps there is an easy method you are able to remove me from that service? Thanks.

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