Goed beschouwd draait je hele leven daaromheen. Aanpassen. Al vanaf dat je nog heel jong bent krijg je dat te horen. “Je past je maar aan.” dus deed je dat, niet omdat je dat wilde, maar omdat het moest.
Hoewel, soms was het leuk, maar niet altijd. Een feestje waar veel “grote mensen” kwamen vond ik als kind vreselijk saai. De gesprekken boeiden me niet, dus zat ik verveeld te wachten tot het afgelopen was. De enige troost die ik had was de taart die gepresenteerd werd. Maar, dan was je er zo ongeveer.
Aanpassen moest je je als kind ook op school, luisteren en goed opletten. Geen domme vragen stellen. Naarmate je ouder werd bleef je dat doen. Bij vriendinnen, thuis en op je werk. Je lette op en deed wat er van je verlangd werd. Je paste je aan.
Als je een politieke carrière wilt opbouwen moet je dat niet doen, want dat schiet niet op. Dan wacht je een geschikt moment af en komt voor je mening uit. Ook al slaat die niet aan en krijg je een hoop commentaar, je moet het doen en durven.
Zo gaat het met meer dingen. Een relatie, in het begin is er niets aan de hand, je bent verliefd en ziet het helemaal zitten. Totdat hij/zij iets wilt waar jij absoluut geen zin in hebt. Dan kan je je aanpassen, maar ook zeggen: “Hier heb ik geen zin in, dat doe ik niet.”
Maar een enkele keer doe je het toch, voor de lieve vrede en de seks. Als je partner maar een keer in de maand met je naar bed wilt kan je je aanpassen, je kan ook zeggen, “ Ik wil elke dag,” afwachten hoe hij/zij reageert.
Als je uitgenodigd bent op een feest waar van je verwacht wordt dat je in driedelig kostuum verschijnt kan je niet in een jeans aankomen. Ziet niet uit.
Als je op vakantie gaat naar het buitenland, weet je dat je daar niet ver komt als je de taal niet machtig bent. Maar, gelukkig spreek je redelijk goed Engels, dus dan kan je je daarmee helpen.
Duitsers doen dat niet, die blijven Duits lullen. Overal en altijd.
Als je thuis aan tafel zit en je moet nodig poepen kan je dat aan je partner mededelen en gewoon gaan. Maar, als er visite is kan je dat niet maken. Dan moet je wachten tot na het eten, met alle gevolgen van dien!
Als je een nieuwe baan hebt moet je ook aanpassen. Doen wat de baas van je verlangt en op tijd komen. Niet te laat en zeker niet met foute smoesjes. Zoals: “Ik moest mijn vrouw nog een beurt geven, of ik wilde net de deur uilopen toen ik merkte dat ik schijten moest.”
Als je partner dol is op wandelen kan je je aanpassen en gezellig meegaan. Je kan ook zeggen:” Loop maar vast vooruit, ik kom er zo aan.”
Zo gaat dat met meer dingen. Tv kijken is ook zoiets, Je past je aan en kijkt mee naar een of ander wazig shitprogramma of je gaat liggen pitten op de bank.
Als je partner dol is koken heb je geluk, als hij/ zij dat niet is en liever uit eten gaat pas je je aan of je kookt zelf.
Pas geleden ben ik wezen shoppen en heb veel aangepast, maar uiteindelijk heb ik toch maar niks gekocht. Aanpassen kan leuk zijn, maar ook heel vermoeiend.
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